Three Truths and One Lie, Story Two

Last week, cjane did Three Truths and One Lie on her blog. She invited all to participate, so here it goes. This week, I'll post three truths and one big fat lie. On the last day, you'll have the opportunity to vote and see how great you are at detecting my blatant lie. Good luck!

Story Two:

It's really funny, that after you have a baby, you forget about everything that happened and think you want to have another one. Not the case with Brandon, I didn't forget about anything because for some reason Derek thought it relevant that he write everything down. So, I went to the storage unit and pulled out the journal that he transcribed what could honestly be my most embarrassing moment {and believe me, I have a few that are horrid} yet. Enjoy! I guess I did!

For some reason, when you're at the end of your pregnancy you really, really, really want to get the baby out. For some reason, we forget that it's easier when the baby is in you. There's no diapers to change, no feeding to do, etc, etc. Well, I was more than a little anxious to get Brandon out so I thought it would be a GREAT idea to drink some castor oil. Really, it's not a great idea. It's just disgusting...and messy.

So, for weeks I'd been maybe dilated to a three and nothing was working. I decided that the castor oil would for sure put me into labor. So I mixed it with some orange juice and gagged it down. A few hours later I was having a few contractions so I decided to head to labor and delivery to get this baby out!

I got there and they hooked me up to the machines to monitor me and Brandon. My contractions weren't that strong but they were concerned about Brandon's heart rate. Everytime I'd have a contraction his heart would almost stop. So they decided to keep me and give me a little dose of pitocin to speed my labor up.

I was so excited until the contractions got harder, then I was begging for drugs {What?! I'm a wuss!} They came in and put something into my IV {I wish I could remember what it was so I could google it and see if anyone else had the same reaction}. A little while later, I was hallucinating. Now, I've never taken drugs so I'm not sure what I would compare it to, but apparently I put on quite the show. Here's a few things that Derek wrote down for our posterity.

• While laying there, I was concerned that the nurses would find out I took castor oil and I really didn't want that to happen. So, I leaned over to my mother-in-law and yelled at her {loud enough for everyone in the hospital to hear}, "Please don't tell the nurses I took castor oil, I don't want them to get mad at me!" Apparently, hallucinating also impairs your hearing. Who knew?
• I wanted to get a really nice room, not one of the closets that they sometimes stick you in, and so I told one of the nurses, "I'm a really nice person with a really good sense of humor." It didn't get me a nice room, I still had a closet! Darn! What does it take? An awesome sense of humor?
  
• This one I have no recollection of and am completely baffeled, "I don't want to go to Washington State, you have to use black first." If there's any of you out there that speak hallucination, let me know your interpretation.
• This one is pretty cool. I was hallucinating that my doctor was trying to take my car to go home {to my house} and get the pizza and chocolate milk coupons that were sitting on the counter. That's not even the best part! I was babbling on about the chocolate milk and pizza and was awfully concerened that he couldn't drive my car, "You have to be in park to turn the car off, you can't be in drive. Dr. Lunt was trying to start the car but he couldn't put it in park." Apparently, he didn't get the car out of park because I don't remember eating pizza and chocolate milk while there.
• Another favorite: I was laying there feeling rather unbeautiful so I turned to my mother-in-law and asked her to put my lipstick on. After she slathered me with chapstick, I turned to her and said, "Do I look beautiful now? I have to look beautiful for when the baby comes."
• And the final one: "There's no way she put medicine in there {my IV}. She must have put hairspray in there."

I'm guessing that whatever they gave me is banned now because when I had Kendal I didn't have any hallucinations. That's kind of too bad, because I'm sure it would have been a heck of a lot funnier the second time around!