Back to School

I'm alive! It's been a very, very crazy last 9 months. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. (Mostly because I don't have anything better.) Lots has gone on, so I'll make you a quick list.

*I started school in February. I'm getting my degree in Early Elementary Education so I can teach Kindergarten through Third. My ideal would be 1st or 2nd, but we'll see what happens. So, watch for me in 2013!

*I got a new calling in Relief Society - 2nd counselor. I was so, so sad to leave Primary. I had been in primary for about 12 years and had never been to Relief Society. I really miss Primary but am thankful for the opportunity to see what it's like to mingle with adults.

*My kids got older. Let's see, Brandon is now 10 and Kendal is 7. Man, I feel so old.

*Brandon got contacts and Kendal got glasses! My poor children are doomed because they have their fathers eyes. He used to be completely blind until he got Lasik and I fear they will be the same way. Darn!

*Brandon joined the swim team and did awesome for his first year! His favorite stroke - the butterfly - and he's good at it!

*We had a fun summer! We spent lots of time swimming, going to movies, playing at the new splash pad, and just being together. I loved spending so much time with my kids. I love the summer and having them home with me. I won't miss the fighting but I will miss them.

So now, it's back to school. Kendal is in 2nd grade now and Brandon is in 6th grade. So far, they both love it. They are both a little odd because they would rather be in school than at home with me. What? That's crazy talk! I'm awesome!

Here's a few pictures from our Back to School Photo Shoot. First we have the outtakes and then a few professional shots...with no smiling. We're all about looking sophisticated.

For some reason, he could not keep his eyes open. I probably have about 10 shots like this.

She was not happy. It took about a half hour and lots of arm twisting to get her hair done and she was just not feeling it.

She is adorable! I wish I could keep her that little forever!

Her new school shoes. They are so her! Funky and glittery! The best of both worlds.

I love her freckles so much! Cute, cute, cute!

He's getting too big! When I look at him I still see him as my little one year old baby.

He's too cute! Ahem...handsome. And does not like to be called Bubba anymore.

Here's hoping to a great school year!

Life Is Good

Jax's Last Day

I've hesitated writing this because I really wasn't sure what to say.

We're good.

We keep on keeping on.

The day he left was the hardest.

All day long I thought to myself,

"This is the last bottle I'll feed you."

"This is the last nap you'll take in your room."

And on and on.

I tried to memorize every little thing we did together.

When his new family came, we took some pictures together and talked a little.

We were all holding it together pretty well until his new mom, Phoenix, started sobbing.

It was all over then.

As I went to hand him off, I couldn't let go. I held him close and kept kissing his little face and head over and over again.

I didn't want to forget.

After they walked out the door, I didn't watch them.

I held my little Kendal who was sobbing uncontrollably.

We sat for awhile, her crying, me holding my baby tight.

And then life went on.

For about two days after he left I had dreams of his new family bringing him back to us and then taking him away again. The dream would repeat itself over and over again all night long.

At night, I would wake up thinking he was crying and ready for a bottle.

For some reason, today while shopping at Wal-Mart I found myself in the middle of the baby section. I looked around and hurried out before I had myself a minor breakdown.

About 10 minutes ago I thought I heard him crying over the baby monitor.

Even now, I feel emotional over the smallest things.

I think I didn't want to write this because I knew I would cry.

And I am.

But, he's happy.

He has another family that loves him just as much as we do.

And really, they are wonderful.

They are an amazing, awesome family.

And I'm thankful that if he's going to be somewhere other than with us, it's with them.

Luckily we have the most awesome friends and family.

I've gained a few pounds because of all the wonderful meals and goodies we got.

And really, there's nothing wrong with cookies for breakfast (me, not the kids), it's the breakfast of champions!

Even though it's been hard, I know that we've gotten through it because of you.

All your prayers, good thoughts and love have been felt.

So...

thank you.

Jaxson Day Eleven

I love this picture! It's so us.

I love the fact that Jaxson chose that exact moment to stick his foot in Kendal's ear.

Jaxson Day Ten

Pure Joy

Jaxson Day Nine

Happy.

Jaxson Day Eight

These two have a bond that amazes me. Don't let Derek's rough exterior fool you, he has a very soft spot in his heart for this little guy.